sO much nOt sexy

random

2009-12-06T18:47:34Z

Have to create proper applications

Need to kick my own ass for that. Not motivated at all.
Don't feel like working with people at the moment.

Addicted to Dragon Age Origins

Love this game. The characters are utmost likeable (most of them) and the voice actors did a wonderful job.
Very nice are also the dialogues during your walks in towns and places without any action going on. Suddenly your chosen partymembers start talking with each other character-related which made me feel even more comfortable with this game.
Here are two extractions I can kind of remind.

He (former Templar): Why are you smirking?
She (older Mage): You're staring at her. Like you are captivated.
He: She is our leader. I see up to her.
She: And what did you see in those swinging hips?
He: (nervous) I saw nothing! I was just glancing maybe, but I wasn't STARING.
She: (laughes amused)
He: I hate you. You're a bad person.

He (Assassin): Do Templars here in Fereldon watch over the Sisters Of Andraste(?) the same way they do in Antiva? There, in my country, Templars look at the Sisters like jealous husbands guarding them from bad guys.
She (older Mage): Well, I guess it's the same here.
He: Oh, and is it true that the Sisters in the Tower of Magi do, when fullmoon rises, meet on the top floor, take of their clothes and make love with each other?
She: What!?
He: (sighs) I found out that this rumour isn't true in Antiva, so I thought it could be possible here. A pity.

Also very enjoyable is the talk between these two about her bosom and that it continually comes to it. To the talk I mean ...

By the way, Bioware's character-site is wonderfully made: http://dragonage.bioware.com/characters/war_dog
Recommended videos for laughing: Morrigan and Oghren (the end).

Pookie needs meds

Pookie-bunny's heart has some kind of irritation, means it doesn't beat like a normal rabbit-heart should beat, which also affects his lungs a bit. Maybe there's even a congestion of water near one ventricle. Thankfully it can be medicated and is not as bad as I first thought it would be.

horrifying dream

2009-11-25T22:23:19Z

This night - or should I rather say day - I dreamt I've been on holiday with my parents and my grandma.
The country could have been something like Mexico or Spain. Something sunny, tanned people everywhere with dark hair.
People like everywhere else on earth, ignorant and without a heart.
They tortured animals in ways I don't want to describe here.
It seemed like animals were tortured everywhere I looked.
I tried to tell my Mum, but she reacted like people always do: "What can we do about it? Nothing will happen. We can't save them."
The feeling ... I felt helpless. Helpless.

The more I think about it, the more I assume I become paranoid.
Lots of times I see only evil in people's so-called hearts and thoughts.
No one is perfect, true. But can't we just try to be a little bit better? At heart, at soul, at emotion.

I'm FREAKIN fed up with people telling that it has no use to even just try something, because chances are low that something will change.
"We have no chance, we are too small to make the world go the other way round."
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
Of course we can't do anything, because everybody thinks like that and has no fucking guts to stand up!
Everyone is always complaining, complaining. Shut the hell up and move your fucking ass! Sucker.

There's so much hate inside of me, so freakin' much nobody would believe it.
Maybe that doesn't give me the right to complain about people myself.
But HELL YEAH, I just fucking GRANT me this fucking right!

If people want to beat me up mentally, do it!
The other me waits for that moment to crush you, oh yeah.
I'm not Gemini for nothing.

Wie kann es sein ...

2009-10-24T15:26:01Z

Wie kann es sein, dass in einem Staat, in dem Meinungsfreiheit herrscht, die wohl argumentierte Äußerung dieser Meinung den Menschen zu Fall bringt?

Wie kann es sein, dass Menschen dafür bluten müssen, gearbeitet, sich ohne Entlohnung engagiert zu haben?

Wie kann es sein, dass Menschen mit krimineller Laufbahn Gelder verschwinden lassen und Existenzen zerstören ohne dafür zur Rechenschaft gezogen zu werden?

Wie kann es sein, dass krimineller Prominenz mehr Aufmerksamkeit (Presse sowie Bearbeitung des Falls) geschenkt wird, als jedem anderen Verbrecher?
Wie kann es sein, dass Medien für die Berichterstattung eines Vorfalls in jenem Milieu so viel Geld einsetzen, das für bessere Zwecke genutzt werden kann?
Wie kann es sein, dass das Volk diese Abläufe auch noch durch Mediengeilheit unterstützt, wodurch von den eigentlichen Problemen abgelenkt und genau dieser Plan des Staates auch noch unterstützt wird?

Wie kann es sein, dass Menschen immer weiter dem menschlichen Abgrund entgegensteuern, ohne Verständnis der Machthaber und Abgabe der Verantwortung durch die Verantwortlichen?

Wie kann es sein, dass Menschen so sind?

Wie kann es sein, dass sich nichts ändert?

Wie kann es sein, dass alte Wunden immer wieder blutig geleckt werden, anstatt sich der Zukunft auf neuem, innovativerem und vor allem menschlicheren Wege zu stellen?

Ich bin sauer.

guts

2009-10-22T08:32:55Z

Finally my last positiveness about the job center is gone.
Hell, crazy stuff. "For the people", sure. If ONE politician tells people about "we act for our folks, we want to help everybody" ever again - something alike - I'll personally drive to Berlin and make a run on their building.
You're all invited to make photos and videos. Put them on youtube for the number of our followers to grow.

Oh well, what did my uncle say: "We complain on a really high level", like that. I think he's right.

Besides, I'm in a really good mood.
Have been to Bremen, visited a wonderful friend of mine whom I haven't seen for three years.

Got new games for less money, heh heh.

just started, looks really nice :) love funny nightmarish games

this is really cute and beautiful, like the atmosphere - the teaching-creature at the beginning is great XDD

unfortunately never heard of that before, but it sounds very promising

of course, Bioshock, finally. Could've borrowed it, but it's BIOSHOCK! Just needed to have it :) and for that little bit of money, c'mon

I'm so much looking forward to my new PC, which is supposed to arrive today. On weekend, crony and I will put the thing together *dance* Hopefully ....
But first, there have some things to be done:

♠ buy desk

♠ rearrange furniture in living room and corridor

♠ buy extra-cable for PC & TV

yeah well, and the other stuff which has to be done all weeks ...

So, a wonderful day to everybody out there! Take care of your lives!
:D

movie trailers

2009-10-06T20:59:56Z

just ignore the female speaker at the beginning

German HP: http://www.orphan.kinowelt.de/

Didn't know there was an original movie to the remake "Quarantine". Have to watch it. Looks somehow more deep.

Official HP: http://movies.filmax.com/rec/

Lost Season 4

2009-10-01T01:12:24Z

Okay, Lost gets more weird and confusing with every episode. It's an awesome series!
I love the character John Locke.
He literally is lost in his own thoughts and his way of looking at things. Guess that's what his "companions" would say.
In my opinion, he tries to take everything life gives - every situation, good or bad, is something you can learn of and grow with it. Even if you need to sacrifice something out of your own self.

(slightly out of character here :) )

Recommendation since the beginning: LOST ! You won't regret it.

And thanx again Jul, for helping me out!

Lost Kai :)

2009-08-30T23:21:10Z

*lol*
I tried to do some photo-manipulation with one of my absolutely favorite characters ever, whose creator is jul_steele .
Well, guess it came out quite well for the first try.

This is the Original Character - Kai:

And this is what he may look like in reality:

:D

The original picture is Henry Ian Cusick as Desmond Hume in Lost.
Jul and I decided, that this character has some Kai-ish charisma.

why do I care ....

2009-08-19T00:30:21Z

Trying to avoid things sucks so bad.
People who use this tactic and improve just have no guts and are just ignorant.
It makes me wanna puke all over.

Interesting that I need to listen to calmer music now.

photoshop improvement and a big bunny

2009-08-16T13:40:43Z

Du sagst: "Ich liebe die Bäume",
aber du fällst sie.
Du sagst: "Ich liebe die Natur",
aber du verseuchst sie.
Du sagst: "Ich liebe die Vögel".
aber du sperrst sie ein.
Du sagst: "Ich liebe die Tiere",
aber du lässt sie töten und isst sie.
Nun habe ich Angst.
Du sagst zu mir: "Ich liebe dich."

- Bruno Würtenberger, 1996 -

Tja, manchmal weiß ich selber nicht, was ich denken oder woran ich glauben soll.

Yesterday, I started to digitalize some art I drew in Hungary last week.
Program: Photoshop
Tool: Pen/Path.
Yessss, I watched a tutorial, tried it out and was really surprised. It's much more easy than I thought! Sure, I'm just a beginner, but it's a great lift.

And during this Hungary-relax-creative-holiday, one of my beloved rabbits became .... fat. I don't like this word, doesn't matter if in English or German, but it's fact. There's no other way to describe it. The other ones are also a bit more than before, but ... well, poor Pippin. I tried to make pictures, but because of all the fluff, you cannot really tell. So, there will be a bunny-diet comprising much green food plus carrots, maybe some camomile-tea, stomach-massages and training.

WE FEED THE WORLD - Essen global

2009-07-06T23:09:33Z

Oh yeah, Nestlé, best example for nice speeches. And speeches those are, nothing more.
I’d feel very proud while telling the audience this major corporation created 4 billion jobs – which is so good for the unemployed-rate of course – just to present a video with insight of a Japanese Nestlé-production in the next scene, with the oh so happy comment “ah, the Japanese – see, most work is done by machines, almost no people”.

MOVIE RECOMMENDATION:

euphoria gone

2009-06-30T20:44:30Z

Thinking too much.
Starting to lock myself up again.
Drinking alcohol.
Longing for the capability to cry.
No fucking sense.

I don't want to shed tears over people.
No one does it for me, either.

I rejected someone in bad manners.
And maybe this is why I am rejected now. A lesson.
Hm.
That's the total opposite of Albert Ellis' teachings *smirk*
Doesn't matter, hopefully it's gone tomorrow.

Well, too much thinking.
Though he didn't get back to me the last two days and has another excuse (just a suggestion) for not meeting ............... I don't know how to end this sentence.
"Maybe another day"
Yes, maybe.

nothing special but new layout

2009-06-28T02:32:51Z

I tried to fit this layout here to 1920 x 1080 pixel. Disadvantage for myself is: my computer only has 1360 x 768 as highest resolution. Pity.
Need another machine.

Not many news except I'm more and more in love .... I guess.
Looks a bit like the counterpart feels likewise. *hopehopehopehopehope* (-.-)

♠ PSP - Daxter, Crisis Core

♠ PS2 - Kingdom Hearts 2 (again), Alone in the Dark, Sly Racoon, Rayman Raving Rabbids

♠ cartoon - Extreme Ghostbusters

♠ insomnia - unfortunately we're not talking about the movie

♠ tenseness(es)(?)

♠ slight slight slight slight eating disorder

♠ movies - Diary of the Dead, Quarantine

♠ series - 3rd Rock from the sun

♠ book - Journals of Eleanor Druse

next step

2009-06-04T21:37:18Z

I feel like working on my homepage now - if I knew what should be shown there.

My summary dismissal is written, tomorrow I get the signature.
Free as a bird, ready to do the next step.
I did so many steps the last months, but this is the final one in this period of my life. It's thrilling to think about what lies ahead.

Did you ever have the experience of going to bed with the birds' songs as the last thing you hear? The wonderful moments when the sky lights up, the animals awake but the people do not?
Try it. And enjoy.

MovieRecommendation: TMNT

2009-03-30T20:23:04Z

Yes, a recommendation. Because this movie fascinates and inspires me more than anything else right now. And that's what I need.
The last weeks were more worse than I expected. A lot of severe blows, disappointments and just so much of anger and sadness. Now I'm back to "Hey Life, you want to tease me? You try to prove me? Then stand RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT!".
And it feels damn good.

Anyway, let's get this started.

It seems less people know the last Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-film. Maybe the Turtles aren't popular with children these days or parents didn't want their kids to watch it, since it is not the average Turtles-movie. And people around my age .... well, maybe they don't fucking care. They have no idea what slips through their fingers, hehe.

So, how do we know our four Ninja-Masters?
Like this, from the 80's cartoon series?

Or like this from the 90's Live-Action-Movies?

Back then, the essence of the movies was entertainment. People didn't want to think about it more than necessary, they wanted to see action, martial-arts fights and the Turtles brought to life.
....
But now, the Level has increased.
These are Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael in the year 2007:

Just kidding. The picture sure is from the TMNT-Movie, but it's not the one I wanted to show you.
Here they are.

Kick ass.
Did you see the trailer?

The story is equal to these pictures: more sincere, more serious. Of course there are wonderful scenes you wouldn't want to miss in a Turtles-based production. For example the moment when Raphael tells Casey to meet him on the roof and Casey asks "Where is that?" and Raph just looks at him like wtf: "The roof? You know where the roof is, don't you!?"

Our Turtles not just have to beat the sh...oe cream out of their enemies, they also have to deal with severe quarrels within their family.
Splinter sent Leonardo away for training. He has to become a better leader. Meanwhile each of the other Turtles minds his own business: Donatello has a hotline for computer-problems (Don: "Have you put the plug in?" - "Yes" - Don: "Did you switch the computer on? ..... Yes, that would help.") , Michelangelo has his own Turtle-Party-Service and nightmares about it ... and Raphael watches over the city at night, without the others knowing it. With a motorbike and clothing to make himself irrecognizable, he hunts average bad guys down. His statement is clear: Leo can stay where he his, he doesn't care.
When Leonardo returns, exactly this is the issue - Leonardo tries to lead his brothers again, but Raphael has no need of a leader. Poor Don and Mike standing between them.
The mission to save the world begins ... and to save the brotherhood.

At the end of this post, you find a clip from the movie with Leo an Raph debating ... in their own way.

Okay, to cut the matter short: If you're only a little bit interested in the Turtles - CHECK THIS F***IN GREAT MOVIE OUT!! WATCH IT!

Here's another video which shows the quality of this movie - in picture, animation and emotion.

Probably, this is the scene in the movie. The most stunning scene of the Turtles which ever came before my eyes.

passed times

2008-12-26T18:49:20Z

I woke shortly before dawn.
My shirt was soaking wet.
I just noticed when natural urge forced me to the toilet.
Even the smallest movement causing the slightest feeling of wind was unpleasant.
The cause: a dream. Again.

For people who love gaming and don’t know him : the AVGN.
http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?page_id=18
Just watch and enjoy.

Games: Okami (PS2), Breath of Fire III (PSP)
Books: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Out of Body by William Buhlman
Music: In Flames – a sense of purpose
Movies: 28 weeks later, Ghost Rider
Anime: Ghost Hound
Creations: unfortunately – nothing.
Plans: Homepage, PixelArt

nothing new

2008-11-23T16:34:40Z

♠ new obsession (though didn't start playing intensively yet)

♠ personal reunion with my former ... hm, no word for that ...

apart from that I had different experiences which spoke on my intelligence. Let me explain in some short words: people much older than me, mature people, shaking their ass, putting out rumours which you can only laugh about, hoping to become the chief's darling and favorite. How things can chance within some months...
Have you ever experienced pounding someone's head against a wall? If that is so, please feel free to contact me.

not all people are bad ... but sometimes you just want to scream

2008-11-01T14:18:34Z

♠

shit happens

2008-10-09T21:36:27Z

Got a cold again, since four days. But now, luckily, it starts to fade.

♥
Mighty Ducks
Thundercats
Schattenjagd by Wolfgang & Heike Hohlbein
I, Robot
Tweeny Witches
to sleep long
Videogames
beloved music

♥♥♥
my babies, my little big babies

Shit happens at work, it's oh so fucked up and I have enough of it. Hope it will be over soon. SOON. Nothing will be like before. Is this more worse or can it become better after some time?

♠

situation

2008-08-31T11:57:32Z

I drink way too much alcohol
I hate the situation ... and I do not
I smoke a lot
I love my rabbits, my beautiful babies
I hate to go to work under the conditions out there
I care a fuck about what happens, what maybe will happen
It's me
What is this all about?
I'm drunk again
And it doesn't stop
Situation gets worse
But it's okay
It will bring something better
Because I believe in it

I hate some people's humanity
And I love my friends, my dear friends, who are with me whatever I do, whatever I do not ... I love you!

♠

legendary

2008-05-25T16:47:33Z

I just watched I Am Legend and I'm really touched by this movie. It's a lot more sad than I thought. During one scene, I was actually about to start crying.
This Soundtrack is also wonderful!

Another something which really satisfies me, though this reason is absolutely ridiculous: I bought and am going to buy loads of stuff again: Clothes I'm really looking forward to (and that's WAY far from normal in my case), CDs, yesterday I finally bought "Dawn Of The Dead" and surprisingly found "Silent Hill Origins" for PS2, cheap! YES! Then, I'm sure going to buy a PSP this or at the beginning of the next month, PLUS Death Jr. This just has to be.
Well, Amazon will have fun with me, too: external hard disk and the 3-DVD Version of "Night Of The Living Dead".

Also, I started writing a Zombie-Story yesterday, everything just feels really inspiring again. It was such a loss the last weeks.
AND I had a freaky but very nice dream this night, which also inspired me and not only, because I did quite good drawings in this dream.

It feels ridiculous and great at the same time. What a world.
But hey, fuck it.

timeless

2008-05-17T14:46:50Z

There's a lot to do, I've got barely time for something else from Monday to Friday, but it doesn't matter. It's much fun! My colleague makes me laugh my ass off at least one time a day. And the other people around are awesome, too. The only problem is: I can't care enough for my babies. My beloved killerbunnies.
The other difficulty is meeting friends.
So, if you read this and are involved/feel spoken to/whatever, you know what's up.

Though I worked until 11:30 p.m. yesterday, my energy doesn't seem to be completely lost.
I'm even kind of bouncy.
Maybe it's because I go shopping in some minutes. No more tap water, woohoo! And pizza again, chocolate, ice-tea, milk .... a variety of things to eat!
Yum.

bother bother bother bother

2008-04-19T16:08:34Z

♠ happy about my new job in the graphics

♠ displeased because of no answer / someone lazy about writing

♠ just in the mood to scream, because of so much undefineable energy - fXXking shit

♠ lazy myself - have to clean some cages

♠ hyper because I am able to learn a lot of new things regarding web- and design-stuff

♠ morose because of some unsettled interpersonal relationship - we have to talk ...

♠ in love with my babies

my mess

2008-04-06T14:04:35Z

My apartment is a mess - and I love it! XDDDD
It suits me well: I'm not clean inside, chaos is dominating and it's full of stuff for your fantasies like music, movies, comics, literature, videogames and so on.
Welcome to Kei-Oz' Chaos! :D

the kitchen

the bathroom

the living room (table)

This is for all the people who think they have to get their habitat clean because of their image. Folks, your image is YOU, not your environment. Get your charisma clean before you put all your energy into superfluentual nonsense!
... Which doesn't mean it looks always like that at my place ;P

great powers of endurance

2008-04-03T01:51:54Z

Told you, Jul, I sit here until I finish what came to my mind.
Did some things here, edited some stuff there ... and it stil doesn't come out how I want it to be. Still, it feels quite good - though the mind gets sleepy. But hey, what's this saying? "No sweet without sweat". And by the way, who needs sleep? Overvalued stuff.

...........*yawns* .............................................................. ......... . . . *faints*

caution: depressions and anger, one more time

2008-03-31T16:21:49Z

Okay, I feel deplaced again.
Long time no see.
Work sucks, or better: I suck at work.
I also suck concerning some relationships with friends. Or nicer: I'm not able to manage things in a good way.
Besides, I don't fit the world. I don't accept this world how it is and it doesn't accept me, it seems.
Well, actually, there's nothing to complain about. ... If it wouldn't be the bad mood at the moment.
Why do I have to work the whole time, to get my attitude in the right way and people around me mess up, walk straight their way, run their heads against a wall, and ignore other's feelings etc.!? Or do I just have a wrong sight of things here?
It bothers the hell of a lot.
Just let me sit here and plan on my style of life. It's not yours, that's correct. And completely okay. You manage YOUR life, I try to manage mine.
So, don't tell me what's good for me, because you have NO IDEA.

It might be confusing to read, but I don't feel like formulating each and every detail from inside my mind. Too long, for you and for me.